Today Victoria's class went to our local pumpkin patch. She was very excited and talked about riding the bus days prior to the trip. It was a fun field trip as each child got to pick a pumpkin, learn about pumpkins, go through the maze and see farm animals. I took some good photos which is always a plus for those scrapbooks. But more importantly I got to spend time with Victoria outside of home. It was fun to see her relate to her classmates and how she still is so young trying to grow up so fast. As we were pulling into the school she started to cry. This is something that has been happening at school quite frequently. We still aren't sure what sets her off, but it is usually something so small that she makes into something huge in her thoughts. So today it was that I don't do anything fun with her. I am starting to see that these episodes are pointing to something deeper within her that she doesn't know how to communicate otherwise. I was able to calm her down and explain that only she and I went on the field trip that morning and her sister or brother didn't get to come. I think what she was trying to tell me is that she needs one on one time more often. Her other meltdowns have been how she misses Gabriel. And one other day she had somehow thought that only she was left at school and the rest of us went somewhere. Now even with three kids with three different classes, teachers and schedules, we have tried so hard to give that attention and time to each one. But apparently Victoria is needing more of it. So over the next few weeks I will be looking for ways to provide that for her. Maybe she only goes to the grocery store with me, crafts that we can do when others are gone and quiet time together before bed. I think that will help, but I will also be pouring my heart with fears, hopes and dreams before God. Only He can fill that empty place in her heart that she is feeling.
